Enter Life Without Mexican Food

Moving to China means deprivation from one of my absolute favorite things on earth.


Mexican food, as it's most commonly known (although technically it's Tex-Mex of which I speak), has but one equal--(Michael Jordan + dollar beer night + a glass of water in the desert + shelter, a lucky machete and a lighter in the wilderness + perhaps Mom's chicken soup when you're sick). Its seductively addictive aromas and flavors would unmistakably hit 3rd in a stout baseball lineup.  I have had the pleasure of being away from home for long periods of time--far away, multiple times.  There is something to be said for the first meal that is pre-decided for me when I return.  I don't believe that man has the capacity to make such decisions.  Assuming absolute honesty with thyself, the first meal back is something commonly........no, perpetually......... sulked over its absence while away.  It's something you know the taste of so well, and yet, upon eating it again (even without an extended absence of it) you seemed to have forgotten just how ridiculous it tastes.  It can't actually be that good--how could anything?  It's BIG TIME; thus, that decision is not anyone's to make.  Airport-------> baggage claim-------> parking garage-------> taqueria = INEVITABILITY. Obviously this varies among people/regions of the world.  

In Texas, the Tex-Mex is too strong to resist.  What's more, it's annoying how the nominal simplicity is what gets you.  "Hell, it's all good," (Bubba Tidwell, 2008)!  This is truth at its finest, but the rice, beans, chips, salsa, guacamole, pico de gallo, jalepeños, and an ice cold Dos Equis just has no business being that good.  These are merely the compliments of the cuisine; the humble plate-fillers, table-crowders, and stomach-joy-makers.  So simple that you almost think you can make it at home, but I seriously doubt it. These side items are infuriating when you can't eat another bite and they're still staring you in the face.  I don't even wanna get into the entrees because let's be honest: if you don't already know what I'm talking about then anything i say could never do it justice.  Just go to Texas........and bring your stomach.

Sun Chips Come From The Nuclear Warheads That Superman Threw Into The Sun

A friend of mine is always eating chips--all kinds of chips. It's quite impressive how well he mixes them up--he doesn't show favoritism, unlike most parents. Twas he who originally introduced me to Sun Chips. Remember those old Pringles commercials: "once you pop, youuuuuu can't stop!"? Yeah, Pringles were good....in the 90's. But the cylindrical container thing was a just a gimmicky fad (or maybe a faddy gimmick). Sun Chips are where it's at--you should go get a bag toDAY! You seriously need assistance to stop eating them. I had to go in the other room--no joke.

I'm not really a chip eater; I'm much more into nutrition. I mean, I'm a human, so of course I enjoy eating great chips. I'm just really good at moderating myself. There are, however, a few different chips over the years that have proved more difficult than others to resist eating more than a serving size at a time.

CRUNCHY CHEETOS (you can't share though because others inconsiderately lick their fingers between each bag reach)

PROPER CORN TORTILLA CHIPS (I'm from Texas), like EL LAGO, out of Austin. So fresh and natural and bubbly.

BAKED LAY'S ORIGINAL (just so good and so much healthier than others)

THOSE PREMIUM THICK CUT SEA-SALTED LAY'S POTATO CHIPS (it's like eating bagged home fries)

AS AN OBSCURE PICK: THERE ARE THESE STEREOTYPICALLY GENERIC CLEAR PLASTIC UNLABELED BAGS OF PURPOSELY BURNT AND NATURALLY MISSHAPED, THICK AND YET NOT UNIFORMLY CUT, OVER-SALTED POTATO CHIPS I'VE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND A FEW TIMES IN THE SLOVAK REPUBLIC, WHICH PUT ALL OTHER POTATO CHIPS TO SHAME (my goodness!)

AND THEN THERE ARE SUN CHIPS (besides the necessity to change rooms so you don't eat too many, they're WAY healthier than most chips)

Sun Chips even rival Baked Lay's in their nutritional value. Sodium is low, fiber is high, calories from fat are pretty low. It's as if they really are from the sun, the biological creator of all things. They're marvelous. Go get some.

Eat great things!

Manny

I'm respectful of fundamentals in sport. Athletes that perform their art the "right way" are nothing to sneeze at. I always learned and often practiced fundamentally sound play, but I'm super proud of my own spins and approaches to my individual game(s). Manny Ramirez might be the greatest right-handed hitter to ever play ball. That's what the common consensus is of late. He is, and forever will be, heavily ridiculed for his continuous tomfoolery in(and out)side the lines. The media has over-influenced everyone to consistently chalk his free thinking attitude up to just "Manny being Manny." I'm so sick of hearing it. I don't agree with all of his alleged antics, but he is certainly a different and/yet a special, special (needed to be said twice) ball player.

I will preface the next sentence with this: obviously I have not seen every, nor even most, play(s) in the history of sport. In the 2008 season, before being traded away from the Boston Red Sox, Manny spontaneously orchestrated what I think is the coolest, if not the greatest, play in the history of sports. He made a tremendous catch running full speed and awkwardly stretching backwards at the wall in left field in Baltimore. In bracing himself for the inevitable post-snag wall collision, he climbed up the wall like vintage Junior Griffey, high-fived a Red Sox fan in the front row above the wall (again: in Baltimore), before abruptly turning around and firing to the cutoff man to double off the untagged-up runner at first base. Who else would have even thought about that? Imagine the criticism he would have endured (though surely wouldn't have cared about) had the runner been just barely safe by an eye lash. Not getting that out would have been directly attributed to the extra second/effort expended in attempting to do something potentially legendarily awesome. Critics can say it may have been selfish or irresponsible all they want. It's one of those things where someone is revered if it goes right and shunned if it goes wrong. Right or wrong, seeing slices of life like that makes me proud to be alive.

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